Drive to Bond

Project: Drive to Bond

Drive to Bond

Game Design | Individual Project | 5 months

Family Dynamics; Emotional Awareness; Application-Supported Collaboration

"Drive to Bond" explores the nuanced dynamics of middle-aged couples and their families, focusing on strengthening emotional connections and fostering household collaboration. The project combines innovative game design, supported by wearable technology for couples and interactive applications used by their children. By integrating behavioral research with practical tools, it encourages shared responsibilities, open communication, and mutual understanding. Through playful yet impactful solutions, the initiative creates a supportive family ecosystem, addressing everyday conflicts while bridging generational gaps.

Background

Inspiration

The catalyst for this project was an inspiring news of middle-aged woman, Su Min, a 56-year-old retiree, from Henan Province, found liberation and self-discovery through a solo road trip across China. Her story vividly captures her break from years of domestic and marital constraints to embrace a life of independence and exploration.

While stories like Su Min's suggest a shift towards individualism and self-discovery, the reality for the majority of middle-aged women in China is starkly different.

Xu, a 55-year-old teacher from the southwestern Yunnan province, was contemplating suicide in July, 2018. She told her brother she wanted to jump from his 27th-floor window.

In 2021, a full-time housewife, subjected to relentless domestic violence and harsh treatment from her in-laws, filed for divorce but was forced to leave the home without any possessions. Tragically, holding her two children, she jumped from the 24th floor.

Chen Wan, a 53-year-old from Shanghai, has largely had to deal with her issues alone. She has struggled to keep control of her emotions since entering menopause, but her husband hasn’t been sympathetic, she says.

Research

After reading these news stories about middle-aged women, I felt compelled to reflect on the life journeys of this generation. Some of the questions that come to mind are as follows.

What were the key life stages and societal pressures faced by middle-aged women?

How prevalent is depression among middle-aged women?

An estimated 95 million people are living with depression in China. The suicide rate among those with depressive disorder in China is between 4% and 10.6%, according to the 2019 study.

According to a national mental health survey published in 2019, 65% of those with depression are female, while 53% are aged over 50.

Association published in 2016, the prevalence of depression among menopausal women is four times higher than among premenopausal women.

What are the key factors contributing to depression among middle-aged women?

Mood swings

Physical discomfort

Hormonal Changes

Diminish of primary role

Emotional void

Children Leaving Home

Midlife changes

Loss of purpose

Loss of Self-Discovery

Emotional disconnect

Communication breakdown

Intense Marital Relationships

Survey

I designed a series of questions primarily for women over 46, with men over 46 and adults aged 24-46 as additional subjects, and received 276 responses.

A total of 68 female participants, all aged over 46, responded to the survey questions regarding “wives”.

What is the highest level of education you have completed?

What sacrifices have you made for your family?

Out of the 68 women interviewed, 41, or 60.29%, identified as housewives. And a significant majority transition to this role after the age of 35.

Who do you usually talk to when you're feeling down? (multiple selection)

How are conflicts within your family typically resolved?

How would you describe your emotional state at home? (multiple selection)

Insight

Women over 46 make significant sacrifices for their families, rely on external sources of emotional support, and tend to resolve conflicts passively rather than through open communication.

A total of 53 male participants, all aged over 46, responded to the survey questions regarding “husbands”.

How frequently do you communicate with your wife?

How frequently do conflicts occur within your family?

How would you describe your emotional state at home? (multiple selection)

How would you describe your wife's emotional state at home? (multiple selection)

Insight

Men over 46 are aware of their wives' emotional struggles but may feel ill-equipped or unwilling to communicate openly about them.

A total of 155 participants, aged between 24 and 46, responded to the survey questions regarding “children”.

What is your emotional attitude when interacting with your mother? (multiple selection)

Of the 155 participants, 122 (78.7%) reported that they would step in to mediate during conflicts between their parents.

What is your emotional attitude when stepping in to mediate during conflicts?

How would you describe your mother's emotional state at home? (multiple selection)

Insight

Adults aged 24-46 tend to exhibit passive listening or impatience when interacting with their mother and often delay intervening in parental conflicts.

Multi-perspective comparison

The three underlined questions are nearly identical in content but framed differently to solicit responses from various subjects. The results suggest some differences that both husbands and children perceive women as more emotionally sensitive, prone to tears, and irritable than the women perceive themselves. Women may underplay their emotional sensitivity due to societal expectations, internalized pressure to remain emotionally composed, or lack of emotional awareness.

Deep Interview

The survey results shed light on important trends and patterns among middle-aged women, their spouses, and adult children. While these data-driven insights provide valuable context, they offer only a surface-level view of the emotional complexities at play within families. To gain a deeper understanding of these dynamics, the deep interviews offer an opportunity to explore personal stories in greater detail.

Communication Gaps: The mother tends to complain and express dissatisfaction, while the father turns to friends for reassurance, rather than engaging directly with his wife.

Emotional Strain on the Child: The child feels emotionally caught between her parents, often pressured to mediate and manage her mother’s anxieties, especially from afar while living abroad.

Intermittent Harmony: There are glimpses of harmony when the parents work together on shared goals, suggesting that their relationship has a foundation that could be strengthened with better communication.

Possible solutions

Scheduled Discussions: By using video calls for scheduled, non-confrontational family discussions, the family can improve communication while ensuring that the daughter maintains emotional boundaries and balance in her involvement.

Celebrate Small Wins: Encourage them to celebrate small milestones in their joint projects. By recognizing each other’s contributions, they can strengthen their partnership and shift the focus away from their disagreements.

Bridging
Family Perspectives

Personas, Theoretical investigation & Journey Map

Persona

Murray Bowen, an American psychiatrist, introduced the concept of the family triangulation system. He explained that within this system, a third person is often used as a substitute for direct communication between two conflicting parties. This third individual can serve as a mediator or a messenger, conveying dissatisfaction and discontent. In Bowen's view, this indirect communication can prevent healthy resolution of conflicts, leaving underlying issues unaddressed.

Theoretical investigation

In the "family of origin" model, parents may unintentionally pull their children into their disputes, often assigning them the role of the "rescuer". In doing so, the child is positioned to mediate or repair the relationship between the parents. This creates an unhealthy dynamic, where children become emotionally entangled in adult conflicts, leading to blurred boundaries within the family.

In my own investigation, I observed similar patterns. Many couples pull their children into their conflicts, asking them to take sides or comfort them. This behavior exacerbates family tensions and strains the parent-child relationship. As a result, children may feel emotionally burdened and trapped, while parents derive temporary relief from their anxieties without truly addressing the root causes of their disagreements.

Murray Bowen

1913~1990